At Least It Wasn't Real

Out dancing with friends last night, a new acquaintance and I were both parched decided to head over to the bar for some water.

As we were shuffling and side-stepping our way back towards our group of friends, small bottles in hand, I was separated by a small gang of three trying to push past me in the opposite direction.

I was pushed slightly off-balance, into this girl facing the DJ booth.

"I'm soooo sorry," I said. As I started to say, "Some people kinda pushed me", the brunette turned around. She was wearing those big sunglasses as are all the rage, and obviously drunk.

"Heeeeey!" she yelled over the music, almost in that, I-think-I-know-you-from-somewhere. "Kiss my monkey!"

"What?" I said, looking at her strangely.

She then held up her left hand. On her index finger: some weird little finger-puppet-thingy that looked like a monkey. She then was yelling something drunkenly incoherent to me, and wiggling this thing around on her finger, and I'm pretty sure she ended the sentence with "C'mon, kiss my monkey!"

I thought at first it was one of those weird bachelorette party requirements, or something. But that thought passed. It was clearly weird.

But seeing no way out of it (considering I was sandwiched on all sides by early twentysomethings), I did the only thing I could. I gave the monkey a peck, then tried to move through the crowd as fast as humanly possible.

Nope - not one of my better moments.

But I'm so glad it wasn't a hand puppet.