Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Why I Should Consider Moving to France ...

... or at least why I should now double my efforts for a "Oui to naps!" campaign and petition in my workplace, if THIS actually comes to fruition:

PARIS — The French already enjoy a 35-hour work week and generous vacation. Now the health minister wants to look into whether workers should be allowed to sleep on the job.

France launched plans this week to spend $9 million this year to improve public awareness about sleeping troubles. About one in three French people suffer from them, the ministry says.
Fifty-six per cent of French complain that a poor night’s sleep has affected their job performance, according to the ministry.

“Why not a nap at work? It can’t be a taboo subject,” Health Minister Xavier Bertrand said Monday. He called for further studies and said he would promote on-the-job naps if they prove useful.

France’s state-run health insurance provider will send letters explaining the importance of good sleep. The Health Ministry’s Web site offers tips on how best to get a good night’s rest.

The ministry’s online “Passport to Sleep” recommends cutting down on coffee, tea, colas, and athletic activity after 8 p.m., shunning TV time or working late in the evening, and listening better to the body’s own sleep signals, such as yawning.

Bertrand said sleepiness causes 20 per cent to 30 per cent of highway accidents across France each year.

Okay, so forget about the rest of the story about the tips on how to get a good night's rest ...

Now, think about all the crabby or scatter-brained people you encounter on the road, or run into throughout your day, or work with ...

And then picture what some of them might be like if they had a nice little nap in the middle of the day.

Hypothetically speaking: Slightly happier people ... possibly fewer traffic accidents ... fewer misunderstandings in general ... see the logic? Who's with me, now?

Vive les sommes, mes amis! Vive les sommes!

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Childhood Flashback # 1

So, as I was updating my Facebook profile with some of my favourite books, my thoughts wandered back to some of the books I read as a kid.

And then before I knew it, I hit Google and came across this little story pictured at left.

Oh. My. God!

You really don't understand many times A WEEK I had this book read to me when I was three or four years old. It was just your run-of-the-mill, cheapie supermarket Little Golden Book. But I'm sure I drove my mom crazy every time I wanted to read this. It's just so cute, I had to share.

And now you have yet another piece of insight into what makes me the weirdo I am today.

You can actually read the whole book here.

Monday, January 29, 2007

Monday Props

Hey you guys,

Hope you all had a good weekend. Mine was :) .

In any case - and I hope she doesn't mind, since it's actually on her blog now - but my friend's husband has just finished a CD. You can read more about it, via this link here.

Enjoy the rest of your day!

Saturday, January 27, 2007

Facebook = Freebase

In addition to reasons 59 and 59A as to why I'm a complete loser and have no willpower, I also now have a Facebook addiction.

I only set up my account last week. But I find myself checking my account to see who poked me, who's written on my "wall", oh, ALL THE TIME.

I'm afraid if someone had to monitor me as part of an experiment to see how many times I logged in a day, in addition to the average number of minutes that elapsed between logins, I'd be very, very afraid.

I'm getting the distinct feeling I'm going to be shopping around for a rehab program by the end of next week.

Or get myself into major trouble.

Hoo, boy.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Christine, You Were Right.

To my friend Christine:

Remember way way back, in our early 20s, when you used to joke that drinking coffee was a cardiovascular workout?

Well, so happens there's a story that backs up the "coffee is healthy" argument:

And, as it happens, BBC posted this story in 2003, long before this blog was born.

So, I apologize for doubting your premonitory brilliance. I was wrong.


But I'm still not drinking the stuff.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Oscar Nominations Announced ...

So the Oscar nominations were just announced a little while ago (although it took me over 14 hours to post them, but whatever) ...

Here are the nominations that matter ...

Best Picture: "Babel," "The Departed," "Letters From Iwo Jima," "Little Miss Sunshine," "The Queen."

Best Actor: Leonardo DiCaprio, "Blood Diamond"; Ryan Gosling, "Half Nelson"; Peter O'Toole, "Venus"; Will Smith, "The Pursuit of Happyness"; Forest Whitaker, "The Last King of Scotland."
Best Actress: Penelope Cruz, "Volver"; Judi Dench, "Notes on a Scandal"; Helen Mirren, "The Queen"; Meryl Streep, "The Devil Wears Prada"; Kate Winslet, "Little Children."

Best Supporting Actor: Alan Arkin, "Little Miss Sunshine"; Jackie Earle Haley, "Little Children"; Djimon Hounsou, "Blood Diamond"; Eddie Murphy, "Dreamgirls"; Mark Wahlberg, "The Departed."

Best Supporting Actress: Adriana Barraza, "Babel"; Cate Blanchett, "Notes on a Scandal"; Abigail Breslin, "Little Miss Sunshine"; Jennifer Hudson, "Dreamgirls"; Rinko Kikuchi, "Babel."

Best Directing: Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu, "Babel"; Martin Scorsese, "The Departed"; Clint Eastwood, "Letters From Iwo Jima"; Stephen Frears, "The Queen"; Paul Greengrass, "United 93."

Best Foreign Language Film: "After the Wedding," Denmark; "Days of Glory (Indigenes)," Algeria; "The Lives of Others," Germany; "Pan's Labyrinth," Mexico; "Water," Canada.

Best Adapted Screenplay: Sacha Baron Cohen and Anthony Hines and Peter Baynham and Dan Mazer and Todd Phillips, "Borat Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan"; Alfonso Cuaron and Timothy J. Sexton and David Arata and Mark Fergus and Hawk Ostby, "Children of Men"; William Monahan, "The Departed"; Todd Field and Tom Perrotta, "Little Children"; Patrick Marber, "Notes on a Scandal."

Best Original Screenplay: Guillermo Arriaga, "Babel"; Iris Yamashita and Paul Haggis, "Letters From Iwo Jima"; Michael Arndt, "Little Miss Sunshine"; Guillermo del Toro, "Pan's Labyrinth"; Peter Morgan, "The Queen."

Oooh man, I can't WAIT for the office pool to start ....

Monday, January 22, 2007

Why I'm A Loser, Reason # 59

I now officially have no willpower for anything.

Okay, know how you can go to if you wanted to look up information on pretty much any movie or actor you want, for useless trivia, quotes, actor stats to settle bets, etc.?

Well, I pretty much used it in vain today. But see, you have to understand, I was bored ...

So there was this guy I met a long time ago, like twice. He was an actor. And he was fiiine. And I was smitten, and probably have been ever since. (Reason #59a why I'm a loser.)

But the one thing I'd never let myself do is a Google or IMDb search. 'Cause that's borderline stalker-ish and I'd have to admit to myself that I have a serious problem. One that I probably haven't had since primary school, when I seriously loved off this one guy from third- to sixth-grade ... And there was that other guy during my second-year of university ...

In any case, for months, no matter how great the temptation, I said, NO. IMDb to me is like Waterloo was to Napoleon. I give in, it's ALL over.

Today, I met my Waterloo.

I was sitting there this afternoon, waiting on a phone call, trying to focus on work-related Web-surfing, and before I knew it, I veered right off track - checking e-mail, etc.

And the The Temptation hit me full blast. It'd been niggling away at me the last day or so, and I'd mentally swat it away.

Today, I was like, oh hell, I'll just check. It's not like he's done enough to be on there.

I put the dude's name in the search engine, but I didn't even look at it right away; afraid of what I'd see, I looked at another Web page. Finally about four minutes later, I clicked on the page, scrunched up my face and prepared myself for what I might see.

Damn. Damn, damn, damn.


His picture. (Forehead smack.)

His birthday. And pretty much everything he's been in since I don't know when. Plus a big, globbed-together bio.

And then I closed down the page.

Lesson learned, right? Nope. I went back. Again. Briefly. I couldn't help it!

Sweet Shilpa Shetty. I think I officially became an IMDb stalker this afternoon. I'm so embarrassed.

This must be what they refer to as cyber-masturbation. Because while I felt kinda good doing it, I mostly squirmed in my seat at letting myself do it. And I then I felt dirty.

... Aw sheeit. I just did it again. Okay, this stops here.

Excuse me. I have to go do penance for this ridiculous, loser-ish thing I've done. Good night.

My 100th Post! (Or, Why I'm an iPoodle-In-Training)

So, just when I thought I had my social-networking-Web site-management problem under control ...

My friend Lori goes and introduces me to Facebook.

I'm already on Friendster because of one friend, who's NEVER on when I am. And I should've just said, "No. Nope. Last time I took up your offer of invite onto a social site, I never used it for months, and when I did, I discovered some 25-year-old was hitting on me."

But, no. I couldn't resist the power of online networking. The groups. Creating my profile ... oh, the possibilities...

And here I am, about three days later, with my own Facebook profile, signed on to a network, plus three groups, "for fun". Forget getting ANY work done in the afternoons. The temptation is too great.

At least the friends that I know on Facebook poke me when they're online.

I like being poked.

Sunday, January 21, 2007

Modified Speech: New Year, New Words?

I meant to do this earlier in the month, but I didn't have a chance to get around to it ...

The first Wednesday of January, I bought a National Post on the way to work (because they were all out of Globe and Mails) and they had this kinda neat little section which read, "What better way to start 2007 than with some new vocabulary?" And you could go to their Web site and vote on the best one, or introduce your own word.

There were about 16 of them on the front, but here are the ones I liked the most and may start using, (if I haven't already). Don't say I didn't warn you.

Googley moogley: adj.
The frustration point you reach when the world's most popular search engine can't find what you're are looking for.

Hangry: adj.
The state of crabbiness that sets in when you haven't eaten.
(So far, my favourite.)

iPoodle: n.
A person who shamelessly jumps on every new technological fad.

Schadenfreudian slip: n.
Accidentally admitting that you wanted someone to fail.

Shpants: n.
Women's dress pant that are not quite clam diggers, not quite capris but also not quite shorts.

Wussam: v.
A response to a question indicating that you were, and still are, in the same condition.

Saturday, January 20, 2007

Where Do the Stupid People Go?

Call it bizarre, but I've had this question burning a hole in my grey matter the last couple days ...

Okay, so if you believe - or were taught when you were a kid - that people "go somewhere" when they die, the common belief is (or was) that good people go to Heaven, Paradise, whatever ... and bad, evil people go to Hell.

So where do the stupid people go?

No, seriously. I thought about this the other day, when news kept resurfacing of that woman in California who killed herself drinking too much water, to win a contest that was giving away a Nintendo Wii.

Think about it. She drank herself to death. For a machine. How stupid IS that?

I'm sorry if you think it's mean-spirited or cruel of me to say so (which would probably mean I'll be heading to hell when it's my time) . But WHY would you DO that? NO piece of video game equipment - being offered for free, as a prize - is worth that.

And then there are things like the Darwin Awards, which document people who have killed themselves doing crazy things in the name of ... who knows?

I can't imagine the vast numbers of people who have died due to stupidity. Not due to an accident. Or being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Or getting what they deserved. Or dying unjustly. Because they did something without using ANY of their brain cells about what the end result might be.

And I can't imagine, what these people are doing right now, wherever they may be.

I have to stop here. My head hurts right now from thinking about this.

Friday, January 19, 2007

Farewell to The Last Little Girl

She was the smallest of my second cousins.

But what she lacked in physical strength, she made up for in personality and, from what I hear, a sharp mind.

And yesterday afternoon at work, I found out my cousin, Adonia, died.

She had sickle cell anemia, which - to probably oversimplify things - is a disorder that affects the properties and number of red blood cells in the body, which can clog blood vessels and deprive the body's organs and tissue from getting the oxygen they need.

This, in turn, means she was more prone to getting infections and becoming ill quite easily.

The last time I met her, she was a tiny baby, barely a toddler.

But from what I've heard from my mom, who saw her last summer, she was extremely bright.

To say her mother is beside herself with grief is probably the understatement of the year, and perhaps even insensitive. She's a teacher in the Jamaican school system, which is often tough and insensitive to the needs of teachers. So when Adonia fell ill, she couldn't drop everything to see to her in hospital.

By the time she did manage to get there, she was too late. From the sounds of it, her last little girl had died in pain and alone.

And I can only imagine what her older brother and two sisters - thousands of kilometres away in the U.K. - must be thinking and feeling right now.

It just feels strange. Just thinking about it, it's like my brain can't process what's happening and has separated itself. It's like looking at myself through a pair of binoculars, or one of those cardboard tubes, the way you might as a kid after the toilet paper was finished.

Her mom - my first cousin - is a teacher ... she won a trip to come up to Canada this spring. And I was finally going to meet her after almost 15 years. Now I'll never get the chance.

My mom says that she's probably better off now because she's no longer suffering.

Is she right?

Monday, January 15, 2007

Happy Birthday, MLK

Although I should have written this earlier - and even though I'm not American - I just wanted to acknowledge the birthday of a giant of the civil rights movement and in history.

From him, a lot of people learned the importance of seeing past colour and breaking down barriers in their own way ... and changing the face of the way people in the world see each other (well, people in some parts of the world, anyway).

Above all, this chapter of history reminds us that it's okay to have a dream.

He did.

Saturday, January 13, 2007

The Hardest Part About Turning 30 Is ...

... trying to plan your own birthday party, and not having a plan!


I've still got just over 11 days left to figure this out, but I haven't the slightest idea of how to make this somewhat memorable. And I'm not going to work the day after, so it's not like I have to worry about going home early.

So far, the suggestions I've gotten are:

  • renting out a bar
  • reliving my youthful days by either going to somewhere like the old Playdium or Laser Tag.

If anyone's got any good suggestions, please throw them out there. I'd be happy to consider (or combine) any of them.

UPDATE: So I did manage to find a venue for the party. Now the real planning - and waiting for people to respond - begins. Ugh.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

iPhone? I yaaa-aaaawn.

If you're a follower of the Church of Steve Jobs of Latter-Day Mac Users, than I suggest you move on to the next blog.

Hell, you want a two-word reaffirmation? Go read my brother's blog instead. Just get the hell on, then. Get to steppin'! Git! 'Cause what I'm about ta say, you're not gonna like.

Okay. So yesterday, Mr. Jobs held his annual keynote address at the Macworld convention (a.k.a. The-We're-WAY-Too-Good-For-The-International-CES-Convention) in San Francisco, and he gives his crazy Apple-obsessed disciples - some of whom lined up in THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT to get in the following day - have some of the Good Gospel According to Apple. Over 2 billion songs bought from the iTunes store ... Apple TV, the new wireless way of playing all your iTunes content...

And then he unleashed what would probably be the digital equivalent of crystal meth, wrapped in an approximately 11 cm x 6 cm x 1 cm shiny thin metal casing. Electronic porn for the masses.

It was nuts. I remember one snippet of tape I saw, where Jobs was demonstrating the locking feature on the phone ("... and you just slide it over"), and his followers clapped in approval, as if to say, "See, non-Apple suckers? Steve's got every problem you've ever had with a phone figured out. And he made it futuristic AND pretty."

I've talked to a couple people I know. One of them thought the iPhone's a sweet package. The other says she wouldn't want an iPod phone, which you could argue, is essentially what this is.

Lookit. Apple plays a good game. I don't completely hate them. As a PC user, they make a good case for wanting to become a "switcher", to use a Jobs-ism. The Mac commercials are funny. The iPod commercials, very flashy.

But a phone-MP3 playing-organizer? For almost $700 Canadian? You've GOT to be out your damn mind.

(And who the hell holds their OWN convention the same week as the other international electronics convention? That's just plain elitist.)

Yes, pretty with bells and whistles and touch screens and slidey things this iPhone may be. But you can never EVER factor out life and human error.

What if the thing gets stolen? Someone didn't just pilfer your phone. They also pilfered your MP3 player, and your organizer.

What if you drop it and it breaks? What? You're not going to be that clumsy? I'm sure Steve Wynn, the millionaire who bought Picasso's masterpiece "Le Reve" in October and then accidentally poked a hole in it the day after, didn't think he was the clumsy type, either. Stuff like this happens, whether you want it to or not.

And if you're Canadian and have enough self-control to wait until it comes north, then I hope you have the patience of Job. One news report I just watched said it may not be up here for MONTHS. I feel bad for all the electronics companies who have been fielding calls since yesterday about a product they only found out about 'round the same time as everyone else.

Listen - everyone's free to choose whatever they'd like. But we're talking about personal electronics! They don't perform surgery, or rocket science, or help solve the world's problems, like poverty or crime. They have flashy lights and sounds, and perform neat electronic tricks that overexcite your neurons. Or in the case of some hard-core Apple users, make them almost rabid to the point of falling into the electronic-device-equivalent of a diabetic coma.

And already with such a flashy new baby, there's already conflict nipping at Apple's heels. Another company, Cisco, has immediately gotten ligitious, seeking an injunction against Apple allegedly biting the "iPhone" name.

And now that the iPhone's out there, it's only a matter of time before other companies try making similar models which, if they worked fast enough, could probably be on the market, in a matter of years, for less money.

I'm waiting to see what people will be like when this thing's available in stores. Will this be civilized, or will this be just like the frothy frenzy caused by the first-day sales of the PS3?

(Which, if sales in Japan are any indication, is getting its bitch-ass WHOMPED by the Wii - at least, for the moment anyway - thank YOU very much.)

Sunday, January 07, 2007

Modified Speech: Poo-poos and Plop-plops

Poo-poo (poo-POO): Verb. 1. To express contempt about. 2. To reject with contempt.

(Source: WordWeb Online )

I didn't think this was a new term, but apparently there are still people who haven't heard it. When I was out with one of my friends for her brother's birthday, we were just sitting there, shooting the stuff, and I forgot what I said, but I said "poo-poo" and she whipped her head around in surprise and asked, "Did you just say 'poo-poo' ? "

"Yeah?" I said.

Man, was she happy. "See? I told you!" she said to her brother. Apparently he had never heard the term before and thought she'd made it up, making her a weirdo. I could now vouch for her. Besides her Grade 10 English teacher, that is.

Plop-plops (PLAWP-plawps): Action. What expired milk that has separated does when poured into a cup of coffee or tea by one who does not know aforesaid milk has gone off.

(Source: Loquacious D)

On a run to the coffee shop, my friend was telling me about the latest goings-on in her office, when, at the counter with all the milks, creams and sugars, she picked up a carton of milk and proceeded to pour it into her tea.

Instead pouring with ease into her cup, the milk gave her a little surprise. Plop-plop-plop-plop. Disgusting. I wrinkled my nose.

My friend said, "That's gross. I'm taking this and telling them their milk's gone bad."

"Yeah," I said. "Looks like you got a case of the plop-plops."

"Did you just say 'plop-plops'?" She said, half-laughing.

Yes. Yes I did.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

"I can't get it out of my head!"

Ever had a song in your head - maybe from your past, maybe you heard it somewhere - only you, for the life of you either don't remember the name of the song? Or the group? Or simply know that you've heard it somewhere before?

And then it's stuck in your head semi-permanently, driving you absolutely nuts?

That happened to me twice in the last week. The first song, I heard over the holidays in, of all things, a liquor commercial. I thought, how classy is this song? I totally want to download it. I think I've heard it before as a sample somewhere ...

So off I go, look at the credits on the song it was sampled, then do a handy Google search. Nothing. I try again. Still no dice. I kept watching for the commercial on TV. Vanished. How convenient.

I kept Googling and watching until one day by complete accident, I finally Googled the right combination of words and presto! I found it. And in the process, developed a crush on an 84-year-old Peruvian lady named Yma Sumac.

The second song got stuck in my head last week. I was looking for old skool songs I used to hear when I was younger - and now at the occasional Amnesia party - and had this ONE SONG lodged in my brain. I never knew the name of the band. And whenever I tried to search for it online, I'd just get hits for links to Christian sites.

Well, it got worse. I'd hear the song in my brain before my head hit the pillow at night and when I'd get up. Between that, and something I think I read once that in some people, hearing a song over and over in your head is the possible onset of an aneurysm, I was a tad spooked.

FINALLY two days ago, after Googling ... and Googling ... and Googling ... I found the song. I got the name of the band (which is seared in my brain for the recent future).

I really hope that doesn't happen again soon. I don't think the part of my brain responsible for all that torture can take anymore.

Monday, January 01, 2007

2007: Just. Focus.

"You know, you can achieve anything you want to do," my mom said to me over the phone when I was at my friend's house earlier this afternoon. "You just have to focus."

With a brand-new year upon us, I've been sort of thinking of taking her words to heart. Especially with 30 staring right at me from just over three weeks away.

Recently, a friend of mine and I were talking about one of her friends who, in the span of four years, crossed the border and landed a good job, went backpacking in Central America, learned something she'd always wanted to do, found a wonderful man, had his baby, and recently packed up with her family of three and relocated down to the West Coast, where her partner is trying to make a go of it in his field of expertise.

I know I shouldn't even be comparing myself to someone like that. I remember once saying as a young twentysomething, "Everyone is exactly where they should be." That's before the last seven or so years happened.

I almost wish I could meet that young woman of yesteryear so I could ask her, "So where the hell am I? Am I where I should be?" (And then I could tell her what a loser-ish thing that was to say. Almost. I wouldn't want to crush the poor soul's self-esteem.)

Don't get me wrong - 2006 was decent. I had fun. I just think 2007 has the potential to be leaps and bounds better. Call it the typical New Year's optimism people like me get.

I don't like making resolutions, because I just set myself up to break them in a matter of weeks. But I have been thinking of things I'd like to see in the New Year. And even if they aren't fully realized, it'd be nice if I could get them started in some way.

Get a better job. This. Needs. To. Change. My friends and family have heard me grouse all about it. I've talked it to death. It's time for action. I just need to find a way to do it, on my own terms, and not settle. If I, by this time next year, am in the same job, I'm going to quit. I swear. This can't continue, as much as the prospects of being without those fun things like benefits and vacation time hurt.

Get more sleep. Pffft! Thank goodness I never made THIS a resolution. This could be a tough one. Maybe getting a better job = better hours, which may = better sleeps.

Become a healthier version of myself. If one should treat one's body like a temple, then I've pretty much been letting thieves feed the Rottweilers guarding mine with raw beefsteaks and lace their waterbowls with Rohypnol while they happily go a-lootin'. I don't think I'm fat or anything. I do go to the gym regularly during the week. I just cancel it out every time I cram a cookie or potato chip into my mouth, or inhale two or three glasses of Pepsi. Whatever. I think I've lost the fine art of moderation, and I need to go find it. I'm tired of being bloated. On top of which, I think I need to go an extra mile with physical activity on my own time. This isn't about losing weight (although that would be nice). I want to see what my body can do, when I make a little more of an effort.

Be more aggressive with saving money. I'm in a unique living situation - at home with the folks, rent-free - because I'm saving for the elusive down-payment for that also-elusive place of my own I want to one day have. But my "lifestyle" also means I sometimes spend my money in ridiculous ways. Taking cabs home from downtown on some nights out. Going to other banks' ATMs and paying the service charge just to take money out. Buying food and snacks I probably don't need. But sometimes I decide there are certain occasions where I don't spend money. I actually had a friend call me cheap (not exactly in those words, but close). I think I should try and be more consistent. If I'm going to be frugal, let's be all-the-way-frugal. Or if I'm going to spend my money within reason, I should do so across the board. And start socking away more of my hard-earned money, while I'm at it.

Learn something useful. I'd love to learn a new language. I keep saying how I'd love to learn Spanish. I'm also dabbling with a second attempt with learning how to drive, after my double-failure in 2005. We'll see.

Learn something fun. I keep saying I'm going to take up dance lessons because I think I have two left feet, but who knows? And if not dance lessons, maybe it'll be something else.

Do something I'd never dream of doing. EVER. At a party a couple of months back, I was catching up with someone I'd not seen in ages, and she suggested we should get together and do something fun. Like have a girls' day on a shooting range. I've never shot off a gun in my life. And after having my uncle drunkenly wave a rifle at me in Fort Lauderdale earlier in the year, I had my reservations, to understate it. But maybe ...

Go somewhere I've never been before. I've gone to places in the Caribbean and the U.K. But I need somewhere completely different. One of my friends went partying in Croatia last. Croatia! And he had a great time. I'm sure that's the last place he would have considered, had you asked him earlier in the year if he'd be interested in going. My dream place to go travelling would be Spain. It's an obsession I've had for at least a couple years now. But I'm not sure if that's going to happen this year. I don't think my trips even need to be as far away as that. There have been cities on this continent I've never seen, some of which a friend of mine brought up recently: New York. Vancouver. Halifax. Los Angeles. Las Vegas. And I should really just get up and go whenever someone says, "Come and visit!" Honestly, I'm so set in my ways ...

Fill my one-date quota for the year. You people think I'm joking. Seriously? Galapagos Island tortoises mate more frequently than I get dates. For the last several years I kept tally of my one-date quotas for each year, which was pretty much the average. But there's been a famine for the last while. There's not a lot of people I've been attracted to, and the people who have been attracted to me, I've not been interested enough in them to date. (Maybe out of fear.) But it would be pleasant if that changed. Maybe I could go over and above the quota. But that's getting ahead of myself. I would just like to request one thing: a moratorium on geeks, if that's completely possible. PLEASE.

Get a piggyback ride. I thought about this walking down the streets with friends in the wee hours of this morning. I can't remember the last time I've gotten a piggyback ride. Getting just one this year would be life's way of letting me know that youthful exuberance is okay, at any age. Any takers?

But enough posturing and daydreaming. Time to get crack-a-lackin'.