Why I'm A Loser, Reason # 59

I now officially have no willpower for anything.

Okay, know how you can go to IMDb.com if you wanted to look up information on pretty much any movie or actor you want, for useless trivia, quotes, actor stats to settle bets, etc.?

Well, I pretty much used it in vain today. But see, you have to understand, I was bored ...

So there was this guy I met a long time ago, like twice. He was an actor. And he was fiiine. And I was smitten, and probably have been ever since. (Reason #59a why I'm a loser.)

But the one thing I'd never let myself do is a Google or IMDb search. 'Cause that's borderline stalker-ish and I'd have to admit to myself that I have a serious problem. One that I probably haven't had since primary school, when I seriously loved off this one guy from third- to sixth-grade ... And there was that other guy during my second-year of university ...

In any case, for months, no matter how great the temptation, I said, NO. IMDb to me is like Waterloo was to Napoleon. I give in, it's ALL over.

Today, I met my Waterloo.

I was sitting there this afternoon, waiting on a phone call, trying to focus on work-related Web-surfing, and before I knew it, I veered right off track - checking e-mail, etc.

And the The Temptation hit me full blast. It'd been niggling away at me the last day or so, and I'd mentally swat it away.

Today, I was like, oh hell, I'll just check. It's not like he's done enough to be on there.

I put the dude's name in the search engine, but I didn't even look at it right away; afraid of what I'd see, I looked at another Web page. Finally about four minutes later, I clicked on the page, scrunched up my face and prepared myself for what I might see.

Damn. Damn, damn, damn.

Dammit.

His picture. (Forehead smack.)

His birthday. And pretty much everything he's been in since I don't know when. Plus a big, globbed-together bio.

And then I closed down the page.

Lesson learned, right? Nope. I went back. Again. Briefly. I couldn't help it!

Sweet Shilpa Shetty. I think I officially became an IMDb stalker this afternoon. I'm so embarrassed.

This must be what they refer to as cyber-masturbation. Because while I felt kinda good doing it, I mostly squirmed in my seat at letting myself do it. And I then I felt dirty.

... Aw sheeit. I just did it again. Okay, this stops here.

Excuse me. I have to go do penance for this ridiculous, loser-ish thing I've done. Good night.