To The Suburban Cyclist ...

A word to some of the cyclists who live in my area:

I officially dislike you. Immensely.

There's a reason those raised pieces of cement off the main roadways, sometimes fringed with plots of grass, are called SIDEWALKS. NOT sidebikes. It's for people like me who use plain old pedestrian power to get around. NOT for you guys.

I do NOT appreciate the fact that, not only am I taking a huge risk crossing street corners, even WHEN I have the right of way, but also when I'm walking along on the sidewalk, and you're too lazy to ride AROUND me.

I can understand little kids riding on the sidewalk because it's too perilous for them to be on the road unsupervised. But grown adults?!

And yes, I'm specifically talking to you, Mr. Almost-Ran-Me-Down-Last-Night-As-I-Got-Off-The-Bus. On two wheels, you move a lot faster than I do running, and I'm pretty sure you saw me get off the bus and had enough time to find a way to bike around me. But you didn't. You scared the crap out of me with your, "Excuse me!", almost mowed me down, and then proceeded to try and nervously smile and make some lame-ass small-talk.

What's that? You don't know HOW? Well, then you shouldn't be riding a bicycle.

Otherwise, if you want to indicate to me to move to one side (which I shouldn't even be doing in the first place), then get a bell or a horn for your damn bike.

And I don't care about your personal views on preferring to run me off the pavement because you don't want to hurt the grass. You should have thought of that sooner.

Now, not all cyclists in the suburbs are like this. I'm sure there are those who use the road, or reserve their bicycling to parks and whatnot.

For the rest of y'all, take some lessons from your fellow cyclists who bike downtown all the time, alongside just as many - if not more - cars on the roads ... use the street.

Better yet, since we're in suburbia, use the bike lanes where they're provided. And believe me they are provided - the city even offers maps. See? That's what they're THERE for.

Just stop using sidewalks if you're skilled enough to pedal, stop and steer. I should be more concerned about the outside chance a car might jump the curb. Not you guys.